


a pirate's life for me

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bucky needs a hug, Enemies to Lovers, First Mate Bucky Barnes, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, One Night Stands, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Pining, Pirate Tony Stark, Pirates, Pirates of the Caribbean References, Requited Unrequited Love, Sassy Bucky Barnes, Snarky Tony Stark, Tony has a heart, but of a different ship, captain tony stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21549919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: If Bucky Barnes didn’t stop chasing him across the seven seas, Tony was going to have to do something drastic, probably involving cannons, illegal activity, and a shit ton of rum.“You need to sort out your relationship with Barnes,” Rhodey scolded. “He’s chasing you like a scorned lover.”“Scorned?” Tony scoffed, shaking his head. “I was perfectly courteous the morning after. It was a mutual decision to not see each other again, seeing as he’s supposed to arrest me on sight.”“You left before he woke up, didn’t leave a note, and stole something valuable, didn’t you?” Rhodey looked to the sky like he was praying for strength. “Tony, if we get arrested because you had a one-night stand with the commodore’s first mate, I will send you to the gallows myself.”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 31
Kudos: 562





	a pirate's life for me

**Author's Note:**

> several pirates of the carribean references in here bc those movies were surprisingly hilarious
> 
> enjoy!

If Bucky Barnes didn’t stop chasing him across the seven seas, Tony was going to have to do something drastic, probably involving cannons, illegal activity, and a shit ton of rum. 

Tony was the most feared pirate captain on the oceans, but Bucky was seriously ruining his reputation by following him around in one of Her Majesty’s pompous royal ships. It was only a matter of time before other pirates started throwing around  _ collaborator  _ like a curse word, and then Tony was finished. 

He sighed in exasperation when he saw the telltale red, white, and blue sails of the  _ Howling Commando  _ appear on the horizon through his spyglass. Bucky just couldn’t leave well enough alone; Tony  _ knew  _ it was him convincing Captain Steve Rogers that the best possible thing they could do with their time was chase a group of pirates that soundly thrashed them at every meeting. The Queen’s men were stupid like that. 

“Rhodey,” called Tony, walking across the deck to where his first mate was steering the ship. “We have company not too far out. Maybe half an hour.”

Rhodey glared at him, but there was a fondness in his eyes. “You need to sort out your relationship with Barnes,” he scolded. “He’s chasing you like a scorned lover.”

“ _ Scorned _ ?” Tony scoffed, shaking his head. “I was perfectly courteous the morning after. It was a mutual decision to not see each other again, seeing as he’s supposed to arrest me on sight.”

“You left before he woke up, didn’t leave a note, and stole something valuable, didn’t you?” Rhodey looked to the sky like he was praying for strength. “Tony, if we get arrested because you had a one-night stand with the commodore’s first mate, I will send you to the gallows myself.”

“It wasn’t  _ that _ valuable,” grumbled Tony. He avoided Rhodey’s eyes; his first mate was too good at catching him in a lie. “And I would’ve left a note, had he not been  _ tasked with sending me to prison _ . Really, Platypus, there’s nothing for him to be in a snit about. He knew exactly what he was getting when he fell into bed with me, and that’s the last thing I'll say on that.”

Rhodey made a face. “If you say so,” he said placidly, clearly placatingly. “So what are my orders, Captain?”

“Ready the cannons, just in case,” Tony decided after a moment of thought. He didn’t want to fight, but they had to be prepared to. “And rouse the rest of the crew; I want all hands on deck. I’ve heard rumors about their new crewmembers and I’m not taking any chances. I’ll take the wheel, see if I can’t get us enough distance to use some of my surprises.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Rhodey deferred, handing off the wheel to Tony and disappearing belowdecks. 

Tony watched the  _ Howling Commando  _ grow closer, mentally planning his attack strategy. Though the  _ Golden Avenger  _ was a formidable ship in her own right,  __ Sure, they were far enough away that he could use the Jericho to send them to the bottom of the sea, but there was no way anyone on the ship survived that. Loathe as he was to admit it, and no matter how bad of a pirate it made him feel like, Tony hated senseless destruction and death. 

He’d dealt enough of it as the heir and weapons master of King Howard Stark, and he’d sworn to leave that life behind when he boarded the first boat that would smuggle a fleeing prince. He’d abandoned that Tony Stark years and kingdoms away, but he’d never lost his knack for making things blow up. His ship was the best armored and more than capable of blowing one of the Queen’s boats to smithereens. 

He just didn’t  _ want  _ to. 

But letting them get close enough to board risked the lives of his own crew, and Tony would never do that voluntarily. The thought of any of his makeshift family getting hurt because of him sent a lance of pain through his chest. There was a reason Tony only engaged with the Queen’s men on land, when he could keep his crew out of the way and not have to resort to killing. Bucky and the  _ Howling Commando  _ had never gotten close enough for direct contact, and Tony had hoped to keep it that way. 

There was only one plan forming in Tony’s mind, and he really didn’t like it. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he looked up to the crow’s nest. 

“Peter!” he shouted, summoning the young boy to look down from his perch. 

“Yes, Captain Stark?” Peter answered eagerly. He leaned over the rail at a frankly alarming angle. “What do you need? Is it about the ship over there? Because I figure we can hit them with the new cannons if we shift a little to the west. But-”

“Peter,” Tony cut him off gently. He was a great kid, but he had a tendency to get overexcited. “We’re not shooting at them. I want you to fly the white flag and then I want you hidden and safe.”

Peter gaped at him. “You want me to  _ what _ ?”

“Fly the white flag, then disappear,” Tony calmly repeated. He didn’t plan on letting the other ship close enough to even see Peter, but he wasn’t taking any chances with the boy. “Sooner rather than later, if you don’t mind.”

“But… but… Captain Stark, we can beat them,” Peter protested immediately. “Why are you surrendering?”

And that was the rub, wasn’t it? Peter was so young, he didn’t understand the shades of gray between winning and losing. Tony didn’t count more blood on his hands as a victory, not anymore. 

“Because I’m the captain of this ship,” Tony said firmly. “And that is my decision. Do as I say, Peter.” He softened. “Trust me, okay?”

Peter grumbled something Tony couldn’t hear from a distance, but he switched out their pirate flag for a white flag of surrender. Tony chanced a look at the  _ Howling Commando  _ drawing steadily closer and hoped he was doing the right thing. 

Task accomplished, Tony set out to break the news to the crew, whom Rhodey had helpfully assembled on deck. They were alternating between staring at the flag and at Tony like he’d finally gone crazy. 

“Captain,” Rhodey said tersely. “Do you want to explain what’s going on?”

“Gladly,” said Tony, summoning up every bit of charm that had made him such a good prince. “We’re surrendering.” He held up a palm against the outburst of noise. “If you’ll let me explain? More specifically,  _ I’m  _ surrendering. These are reasonably honorable men; they’ll take me and let you all go.”

“That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard,” Pepper, his quartermaster, deadpanned. “There’s no guarantee they’ll let us go anywhere, even if we are surrendering.”

“We’re pirates, we don’t need a guarantee,” Tony shot back. He smiled reassuringly. “Besides, they’re not even going to reach our ship. I’m going to row out and they’ll have to stop and intercept me, lest the feared Captain Tony Stark gets away. While that’s happening, Pep, you and Rhodey are getting my ship the hell out of here.”

Pepper looked slightly less nervous with the knowledge that Tony had some semblance of a plan. Bruce, however, did not look reassured. “How are you getting off their ship?”

“The same way I always do, Brucie Bear,” Tony said. He purposefully ignored that he’d never been taken by the Royal Navy before. “When they dock, I’ll be the first one off the boat. And then I’ll meet you guys at a different port.”

“Why, though?” Happy said stubbornly. “Why don’t we just fire on then and be done with it?”

Natasha, who had been lurking silently in the back of the group, spoke up in the quietly dangerous way of hers. “Do you know what happens when you fire on one of the Queen’s ships?” she sounded almost haunted. They’d rescued the redhead from the wreck of a ship she’d refused to tell them about. They knew next to nothing about her, except that she was fiercely loyal, absolutely deadly, and made a killer fish stew when it was her turn in the mess. She continued, voice steady even though Tony could see her hands balled into fists. “They come after you. It doesn’t matter how many you sink or how long it takes, but they find you. Their Queen is not a merciful woman. Firing on a royal ship, unless you’re prepared to win a war against the whole navy, is suicide.” She turned to Tony. “Yours is the best plan we have.”

Tony had already known that, but her support meant that the crew would know it, too. Sometimes, they found him and his plans crazy and Natasha the voice of reason. He wasn’t sure where they got that idea.

“As always, I know what I’m doing,” Tony reassured his crew. They made skeptical faces, but let it lie. There was iron in his voice, he knew; he was set on his course. This was the best way.

“We’ll meet you at the port in New York,” Rhodey said, his tone brokering no argument. “Two days. If you’re not there, we’re coming after you.”

“Three days,” Tony negotiated. They were a day from the nearest harbor, and Tony wanted a little wiggle room before his first mate waged war. 

Rhodey gave no quarter. “One day, then.”

“Two days it is!” Tony said cheerfully. “Now, you better get prepared to run; the  _ Howling Commando  _ is getting a little too close for comfort. I’m going to get in a rowboat and meet them.”

Pepper pulled him into a quick embrace. “For the record, I still think this is a terrible idea,” she said and released him. “Be fast. Rhodey wasn’t joking about coming after you.”

“Out of respect for you and a healthy fear from my life, Pep, I will not make a lewd joke out of that,” Tony called over his shoulder. He shot her a shiteating grin as he readied his boat. “But you should know that I could.”

“Nevermind,” Pepper groaned, waving him off. “Don’t come back. I hope Barnes arrests you and throws you in prison.”

“Two days!” Tony shouted at his crew. He lowered his rowboat into the water, pushing away from the  _ Golden Avenger  _ and towards the  _ Howling Commando _ . 

His arms already hurt, looking at the distance between the two ships. Picking up the oars, he started to row. 

\---

Tony, after about ten minutes, gave up entirely on rowing. There was a reason he was the captain of the most advanced ship on the seas, rather than one that still relied on oars. He sat down to wait, watching the  _ Golden Avenger  _ grow smaller and smaller while the  _ Howling Commando  _ approached. 

The royal ship was quite ugly, if Tony was being honest. Whoever designed it should have been fired on the spot. The hull was excessively ornamented with red, white, and blue, matching the sails. In Tony’s humble opinion, it was the wrong side of too garish. He hoped Bucky had no input on the decorations; he’d lose all respect for the other man if he did.

Up close, it wasn’t much better. It was far too squeaky clean to be a proper ship, all the barnacles carefully pried off. Tony was struck with a pang of longing for his own ship, even though he’d only been away from it for a short time. The  _ Golden Avenger  _ had been his home for so long, and Tony knew there was a nonzero chance he wouldn’t see it again. 

Still, he had to stick to his plan. He’d be okay, he figured. He was impossible to kill, like a cockroach (he wasn’t sure he liked that comparison, though).

“I surrender!” Tony called as soon as he gauged he was within earshot. He could see the crew of the  _ Howling Commando  _ gathered at the rail, watching him suspiciously. Tony held up his hands to show he had no weapons. “I’m in the process of surrendering! Very exciting, I’ve never done this before. Maybe you could give me some pointers?”

“That’s definitely Stark,” Tony heard Bucky say. “What the hell is he doing?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Surrendering, you dolt. I’ve said it, like, three times. Are you going to arrest me or not?”

There was a hushed conversation drowned out by the gentle lapping of the waves. Tony crossed his arms and stared incredulously up at the Queen’s best and brightest, debating whether or not a lone, unarmed man on a  _ rowboat  _ was a trap for them. At least they were attractive, he mused. Otherwise they’d have no redeeming qualities.

After another moment of deliberation, a rope dropped from the side of the boat to where Tony’s rowboat had started to knock against the hull.

“Climb up,” Captain Rogers ordered in that no-nonsense voice of his. “And don’t try anything.”

“What is there to try?” Tony asked rhetorically. He climbed the rope with ease born from years at the riggings and the wheel of the  _ Golden Avenger _ . When he reached the deck, he gave Steve his most unimpressed look. “I’m literally in the middle of the ocean, my ship is gone, and I have no weapons. Tell me, Captain, what the  _ hell _ would I try?”

“I’m sure you’d think of something,” Bucky muttered darkly at his captain’s side. He was glaring like he could burn a hole through Tony with his eyes.

Tony sent him a charmingly innocent smile. “Hello, First Mate Barnes,” he demurred, batting his eyelashes. “Still mad about our last meeting? Holding grudges doesn’t suit you, you know.”

“I think it suits me just fine,” Bucky shot back, just as sweetly. “Better than lawbreaking suits you, that’s for sure.”

Steve watched them, his face switching from confusion to exasperation remarkably quickly. “Barnes,” he decided, probably seeing the looks passing between Bucky and Tony. “You’re in charge of interrogation. Find out why Captain Stark has chosen to grace us with his presence today.”

“You could just ask me, captain to captain,” Tony made a face as Steve walked away. “And he’s gone. Does he do that a lot? Just…  _ leave  _ in the middle of conversations? If I do that on my ship, Natasha is liable to throw me overboard.”

“Put out your hands,” Bucky said, completely ignoring Tony. He really was upset, Tony realized. A pang of guilt shot through him; he probably should’ve left a note. “You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of,” continued Bucky, tying Tony’s offered hands with a piece of rope.

He didn’t feel bad enough to not flirt, though. Tony winked salaciously. “But you  _ have  _ heard of me,” he purred. He shifted his wrists, trying to loosen the knot. “Tie it a little tighter, will you? I like a challenge.”

“You’re not getting out of these,” Bucky said, but Tony could hear the undercurrent of uncertainty in his voice. Tony was a notorious escape artist; rope, no matter how skillfully tied, was child’s play for him. “Why are you even here, anyway? What kind of pirate just  _ surrenders _ ?”

“Me, apparently,” Tony shrugged. “Maybe I was bored of the sea and wanted to spend my time in a prison cell. I heard the company is wonderful.”

“You’re lying,” Bucky pointed out the obvious. Tony raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to speak more. “Are you going to tell me why you’re actually here?”

_ I didn’t want you dead, and I didn’t want my family dead, and this was the best middle ground I could come up with.  _

“Maybe I wanted to see that handsome captain of yours,” Tony said, licking his lips suggestively. “Or maybe I wanted to see you again. Parts of you, anyway.”

Bucky was the one to roll his eyes this time. Tony counted it as a success every time he got that icy facade to crack a little bit. “Liar,” he repeated, but there was no heat behind it.

“Of course I am, darling,” Tony waved a flippant hand. “But you can trust me. I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest,” he could see Bucky’s confusion and he offered naught but a mysterious smile. “Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly…” Tony wriggled his hands out of their bonds, waving them in front of his face. “...stupid. Also, I told you so.”

“Not a single thing you said made sense, you mad pirate,” Bucky grabbed his hands, retying the rope. “If you take these off again, I’ll have to get the chains out.”

“I only like chains in the bedroom,” Tony drawled, leaning close enough to press a fleeting kiss to Bucky’s cheekbone. “How about you, soldier?”

Bucky jerked back so fast, Tony almost lost his balance. “We’re not doing that again,” he warned, regaining his composure fairly quickly. “We shouldn’t have the first time, and it won’t happen again, Stark.”

“Oh,” Tony adopted a faux-hurt look. “Is it the pirate thing? That does seem to be a dealbreaker for a lot of people. Or did you just want a taste, just one time, and now you’re done with me?”

Huh, he mused. Maybe the hurt was a little less fake than he’d thought.

“Jesus, Tony, it’s-” Bucky cut off with a frustrated noise, running a hand through his hair. Tony took the opportunity to slip the knot again. It paid to be prepared sometimes. “That’s not… we just can’t, okay? If we got caught…”

Tony shrugged off the sting of pain. “You’re right,” he said. “What would the other pirates think of me? I’d never be able to show my face again. I’d have to live in disgrace on an island with only my bottle of rum for company.”

“Sounds like a short life,” Bucky deadpanned, momentary awkwardness dissipating in the face of Tony’s attempt at humor. “If you don’t have any food or water to go with that rum.”

“Perhaps,” Tony conceded. “But I’d spend it pleasantly drunk, and that seems okay to me.”

Bucky barked out a laugh, but sobered quickly. “Tony,” he started. “Why are you really here? You let yourself get captured- don’t insult me by trying to lie- but why?”

“I told you,” said Tony, closing his eyes and leaning against the wooden wall of the cabin. “Maybe I just wanted to see you. Maybe I just have a deathwish. Now, if you wouldn’t mind showing me to the brig? Your prisoner is exhausted and wants to sleep. Surrendering is hard work; I don’t know how you guys do it all the time.”

\---

Of all the brigs he’d been in, Tony could grudgingly admit that the  _ Howling Commando _ ’s was the nicest he’d encountered. And he’d been in a lot of brigs. 

The niceness of it made it slightly harder to escape, but Tony was an expert at getting himself out of tight spots. He felt the sleeves of his shirt for the wires he’d sewn in, pulling them free gently. The guard snoozing at the door didn’t stir when he scraped them softly in the lock. 

Natasha would have been proud of his speed; the lock was dangling open in ten seconds. Tony was glad for the brig’s upkeep when it didn’t squeak open, hinges well oiled. He tiptoed out, leaving the cell door cracked. 

Just to be on the safe side, Tony slipped the guard’s sword from his scabbard and hit him on the head with the overly decorative pommel. Confident the guard wouldn’t be waking up any time soon, Tony dragged him into the cell and locked in behind him. 

Whistling idly, Tony let himself out of the brig, down a guard and up a sword. The moon was shining bright, casting silvery shadows on the deck. He darted from shadow to shadow, looking for a place to stow away until morning. In hindsight, maybe he should have waited until they were closer to land to escape. But Tony couldn’t help but smile when he imagined Bucky’s face when he checked the brig in the morning.

He chuckled to himself, not altogether concerned with the soft noise, seeing as he was alone on the deck. Everyone else had long since gone to sleep. 

Or so he thought, until he felt the kiss of steel at his throat.

Tony reacted instinctively, darting back and raising his weapon. Bucky stood in front of him, sword in hand, but no surprise on his face. He had probably been waiting outside the brig, expecting Tony to make a break for it. Tony cursed himself for being predictable. Still, it wasn’t like he was at a major disadvantage.

The last time they’d fought- right before falling into bed together, coincidentally- Tony had thoroughly trounced Bucky. Bucky might’ve been trained by the royal guard, but Tony had been taught to fight by the sea itself. There was no contest, really.

“Put it away, darling,” Tony shook his head, keeping his own stolen sword in hand in case Bucky decided to be stupid. “It's not worth you getting beat again.”

“You didn't beat me,” Bucky contested, but he lowered his weapon anyway. It wasn’t quite put away and still a very present danger, but Tony was never one for considering risks. “You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.”

Tony arched an eyebrow and put on his best unimpressed face. “That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?”

Bucky scowled. “You could always be honorable,” he grumbled, raising the sword again.

“I’m a pirate,” Tony reminded him. “Our honor looks very different than yours. And between us, our way is far more fun.”

The moonlight gave him courage (and a healthy dose of stupidity). He stepped closer, nudging Bucky’s blade away with his hand. Another step, and he was in Bucky’s space, close enough to feel the warmth of the other man’s breath. Tony kept moving forward, backing Bucky up until he hit the wall with a light thump while grinning like a fiend. He relished in the way Bucky’s pupils dilated, how he licked his lips unconsciously as Tony leaned flush against him. Tony brushed his lips against Bucky’s ear.

“And don’t you want to have some fun?”

By the way Bucky dragged him by the collar into a searing kiss, Tony figured he did.

\---

“I told you I’d beat you again,” Tony said, rousing Bucky from his sleep when he heard the telltale sounds of the ship docking. His lover looked absolutely divine in the white sheets of his bunk, hair disheveled and lips swollen. Unfortunately, Tony didn’t exactly have time for another couple rounds, however much fun they’d be. He had to meet his crew at the next port before they came to find him.

Like any good soldier, Bucky was a light sleeper. Not light enough, but he still woke when Tony spoke. “You cheated!” he protested immediately, hand flying to his empty scabbard. Or, it would have flown, had Tony not tied his wrists out of an abundance of caution. Tony was lacking in common sense, most of the time, but he did know not to steal from and threaten a royal navy member without some sort of contingency in place, even if the man in question had exchanged tender kisses with him just hours before. Besides, it wasn’t like the ropes would be hard to get out of.

Tony twirled the sword in his hand. “Pirate,” he repeated sweetly, both a tease and a reminder. He leveled the weapon at Bucky with a jaunty smile that he didn’t feel. “Now, I’m going to leave, and I’m taking this with me.”

Bucky had remarkably little fear for someone with a sword held by a dangerous pirate at their throat. It was a little disappointing, if Tony was being honest. Tony had earned his reputation; the least Bucky could do was heed it. “Could you take a different one?” complained Bucky. “I like that sword.”

“That’s why I’m taking it,” Tony smirked, blowing a kiss to the other man. Unseen, he slipped a piece of paper out of his sleeve and tucked it into the doorframe. It wasn’t anything, really, just a platitude and a tease sealed with a kiss, but it was better than nothing.

“You know I’ll follow you to get it back!” Bucky called as the door shut. 

“Yes,” Tony whispered to himself, kissing his fingers and pressing them to the door. “That’s what I’m counting on.”

It was the work of minutes to sneak himself out from belowdecks, where most of the crew had already disappeared on land. Tony didn’t bother with the plank; he just hopped over the rail and climbed down the side of the ship to avoid detection. In a port, especially a royal one, one could never be too careful. The Queen had spies everywhere, and there was little sympathy for pirates in these parts.

Tony cast one last glance at the  _ Howling Commando  _ as he dropped onto the dock. It was a gorgeous ship in its own right, he supposed, made even more so by the figure standing at the rail, watching him. Tony wasn’t surprised to see Bucky already free, and he wasn’t surprised that Bucky wasn’t trying to stop him. 

He raised his hand in a silent wave, blowing a kiss at his unlikely lover as he disappeared into the shore crowds. He wasn’t sure Bucky saw it, but he hoped he did.

Tony didn’t look back again. He had his own ship to get back to.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make me happy :))
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)!


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